Cat o' Ninetails

for all yr kind thoughts, advice, prayers, and hugs.  Jim has been good so far as we can tell - eschewing alcohol for gallons of water -
I did sleep fairly well last night but am still rather tired today.

And sad. Phone rang, let the answering machine pick up - but grabbed it when a gf of many years started talking.

The news was about a woman who had been my best friend for 15 yrs - we met because she married an ex of mine -

I left him because he was a heroin addict.  Sadly she acquired his addiction.  I tolerated a lot of bad behavior from so many people for so long.  But I went to therapy whenever I could afford it - managed to at least stop tolerating crap and weeding people out of my life.  Including her after she became physically violent w/ me. 
Didn't speak to her for years except by accident and I could feel the rage tightening my throat when I spoke to her.

I heard she had conquered her addictions, even smoking.  Carol said she had moved back to Ireland, bought a car, was going to buy a house.

Went to the hospital instead w/ double pneumonia and died 3 days ago.  At least she was home with her family.

She was a year and a half older than me. Many health problems said Carol.

Rest in peace, Patty.

folks contacted - the ex is going to try to set up an intervention - tells me I should start going to Al-Anon to learn how to take care of myself in these situations - he's right -
Jim is conscious and very wobbly - I've let him know what I've been doing - he acknowledges how frightening it is for me to see him fall - and agrees it's time to at least have his blood pressure medication reevaluated -
My eyeballs hurt from lack of sleep - and of course everyone called me back when I laid down to at least try to rest - so I gave  up-  IM'd with a new friend - PCs, movies & books - how his day was ever so much more pleasant than mine!!
and I did a bit of catching up here - and now I'm going to eat &  hopefully slip into relax mode!!
 

Another night wherein I couldn't sleep until 8am today - did start a new book - White Oleander by Janey Fitch - in the 1st few pages I discovered that someone else knows about peanut butter & mayo sandwiches - and I thought that was a family aberration & closely guarded secret - not really - only one friend of mine has ever tried a taste - all the others puke at the mention -

I rolled out of bed around noon, had breakfast, drinking coffee, reading the paper and hear my neighbor Jim entering his apt - and fall -
I rush over - he fell 2x more before I could get him - verbally (he's 6'3" and weighs close to 300lbs) to the couch - wouldn't let me call 911 like the last time - said he couldn't afford it and was unswayed when I said his life was worth it - he claims to be dehydrate - so I said no alcohol, suck water -(he's very much a practicing alcoholic) and asked if I had to wait  until he was dead to call someone.

No answer to that.

Roommate blows thru the living room after I go back to my abode - with her usual litany of health complaints - and it takes awhile to register with her that Jim while decades younger than she - is in much worse shape -

So I have to scrounge phone numbers & call folks who can possibly get thru to Jim - gonna be a peachy fecking day here -

Has occurred to me that if I ever get the translation modules working - I won't have a damn thing to say worth translating!

I have run across translation modules on a couple other sites - wherein one simply has to click the appropriate  language and the site will be translated - no luck so far - the modules are on my site but one can't see the options - very frustrating -
also tried to add a Flickr 'badge' again the same result - given that the HTML code I'm pasting in calls for running a script - this may be the problem - My OS is WIN2K so perhaps these  scripts can only be added  with XP or Vista - but I have a plan - and no it doesn't include upgrading my OS!

 A collaborative effort from  Kyle

Quote

Inner mountain
The following is reprinted, or rather, retyped with permission from Dawn...it contains some good nuggets of truth. Thanks!

Climbing The Inner Mountain

What attracts me to mountaineering is that it's very simple: you either live or you die.
No time-out, no substitutions, no half-time, no two-minute warning.
 Mountaineering is a very "in the moment" experience.
 The doing would be a far more exciting than the anticipation of doing it.

To stand on the summit of Mt. Purple--- the tallest mountain in the Multi-verse; would be one of the most defining moments in my life.

---

  Six  Rules  of  Mountaineering

---

I
Climb with passion.

Passion is emotional gasoline, providing the indispensable energies of optimism, creativity & tenacity.  Success is therefore the result of a properly channelled passion.

Passion is essential to every climer who hopes to reach the summit.  Summits require passion, regardless of whether they are physical summits or metaphorical ones.  The fact that summits demand passion is an immutable law of the universe.  It's true not only in mountain climbing but in relationships, agriculture, medicine and theology as well.  It's true in every branch of human endeavor.

The truth must always be true.  It simply cannot be otherwise.

Always climb with passion, my friends. 

---

II
No guts, no glory.

~~*Who bravely dares must sometimes risk a fall.
[Tobias George Smollett]

The courageous respond instinctively to the law of the universe that rewards risk.  Pondering upon this law as I stare across the dark chasm of possible catastrophe, another wise old saying comes to mind, " Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

The ancient Greek Thucydides may have been the first to comment on society's admiration of the courageous when he said, "They are sure to be esteemed bravest who, having the clearest sense of the pains and pleasures of life. Do not on that account shrink from danger."

A more common saying of today was phrased by William DeMille,  " I have always admired the ability to bite off more than one can chew and then chew it anyway."  This one's sorta ticklish, no :P

Yes, the world admires the courageous.  On a more serious note, I ask,  Are you courageous?   If so, be careful that you are not also idealistic and naive.  One's courage will not always bring one glory and rewards; one will occasionally be called upon to pay failure's price.  Only a fool risks what he is not prepared to lose.

This then provokes the following question:  Is one prepared to pay the price of failure, or are you just a tin soldier who has listened to one too many motivational discs?

The soldiers are those who whine about their losses, beginning too many sentences with the words "If only..."  The truly courageous considers the price of failure merely a down payment on future success.

---

III
Expect dead ends.

Learn to label properly Disappointment and Discouragement for they are--- two completely different states of mind.  Disappointment can be a spur to improvement that will continue to succeed. But Discouragement is a mortal enemy that destroys courage and robs one of the will to fight.  It is not the circumstances that causes Discouragement, but one's own reaction to that circumstance.  Everyone must meet Disappointment, many times; it is simply a part of life.  When it is met, we may resign ourselves to Discouragement and failure. Or we may recognize each Disappointment as an asset by which we can profit, and take new strength from a lesson learned.  The choice is ours, each time, to make.

There will be times when one comes to a fork in the road and after much deliberation, choose the wrong way.  A great deal of time and money will be lost before one is able to correct that mistake.  Pay the price.  Get over it.

The secret of strategic planning is to budget both time and money for dealing with the truly unexpected, so that when it happens your plan doesn't fall apart.  For example:  When driving to the airport to catch a flight, we always allow an additional fifteen minutes for traffic jams.  We have no way of knowing where it might be, only that there's likely to be one.

It's impossible to forecast when problems will arise, but it's fairly certain that they will.  So, are you mentally prepared for them?  Do you have the tenacity to persevere, or will you panic and throw your hands into the air...run in circles...screaming and shouting that , "I didnt plan on this!" ? 

Take "dead ends" into consideration, otherwise one's plans may easily dissipate into oblivion of some dream world. 

 

---

IV
Never turn your back on your partner.

~~*There is one element that is worth its weight in gold and that is loyalty.  It will cover a multitude of weaknesses.
[Philip D.Amour]

Most of us eventually learn a key bit of wisdom:  the highest road to inner peace and lasting success lies through personal loyalty.  To accept responsibility for the welfare of another; and to guard that person's interest as though it were your own, is the mark of a happy and vibrant life.  By manifesting loyalty to another, you learn as well to recognize and trust that person's loyalty.

Are you a dependable person?  A loyal partner?  A faithful friend?  Happiest is the one who can answer with confidence, "Yes. Yes. & Yes."

---

V
Never look where you don't want to go.

Guard the secret theatre of your heart.  See nothing there that you do not want to see happen in reality.

You can only do those things you have already "seen" yourself doing in your mind.  You can do only what you have first imagined, when you imagine nothing, the nothing is exactly what you will create.  What so you imagine for your future?  Tomorrow's reality is created by today's imagination.  In a letter to his friends in the city of Philippi nearly 2,000 years ago, Paul writes,  "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just , whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on these things."  It was good advise then, and it's good advice today.

 ~~*Skill and confidence are an unconquered army.
[George Herbert]

---

VI
There's always room on the rope for a person with honor.

 Self-explanatory--- I just want to add that a great person pulls everyone around him upward, and when a group of people/ an entire team is doing it together; the results can be truly amazing. The bar is raised each time, and a new standard for excellence results from it.

---

There is no royal road to anything, one thing at a time, and all things in succession.  That which grows slowly endures.
[Josiah G. Holland]

Another tear in mine - father of childhood friends passed away recently  - stomach cancer - they tell me the cancer wasn't painful - a blessing -
I hope to be able to attend the services not only to honor & grieve this loss but  see my childhood friends for the first time in decades -

I am grateful to the internet for re connecting me with them - I am grateful they are in my life such as it is - as I am all the lovely people i have met here & elsewhere on the internet - and yes there is the downside - people who are so lonely for a mate or any contact, they forget that one must be friends first, forget that one must take the time to discover another person, who communicate inappropriately and are offended when I am honest and decline to jump right in to whatever they had in mine - possibly their feelings, their egos are hurt - but tis better to be truthful from the onset than to be deceptive in the name of politeness - one can be polite and firmly draw one's boundaries -
most sites give one the option of blocking a persitent unwanted visitor - this site does not - and apparently there are those who would rather withdraw than deal with the situation - sad for those of us who cherished the communication with them- but understandable - and the choice must be respected -
and now I think I'll attempt to weave a bit more this web of life -

One Alaskan's View on McCain's choice for VP

One webcam in New Orleans is still working. http://tropicalisle.com/webcam.html